Sometime I wonder if I made myself attracted to men. For example when I started masturbating by the age of 11 or 12; i would take my moms Sears Catalogue and open it to the mens underwear section. Then I would strip to my underwear and lay on the bed on my belly, staring at the pictures. I would lay there and hump my bed or pillow while looking at the underwear models. I would rub my, at the beginning, soft penis to a point of dry orgasm. As time goes by just looking at the pictures of half naked men was enough to get a hard on and I would change my masturbation technique by doing it with my hands. So now I wonder if rubbing my soft penis to pictures of men by the age of 11 caused me becoming gay. I don't understand how my brain would rather see masculine features, but I don't understand why it's like this. Would I be straight and attracted to women now if I had looked at the women and beat my meat to the women in bras instead of the men 15 years ago?
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