I'm having some confusing thoughts about sex, and I'd really appreciate some advice.
For a little background, I'm 23 years old, out to everyone except conservative relatives, and reasonably sexually inexperienced. I have made out with about a dozen people, but only had 3 sexual experiences, all 3 of which involved giving and receiving oral sex, and one involving anal sex, which happened just the other night. I was the bottom in that situation, although I'm not sure if that's my preference (despite experimenting alone, I have yet to feel pleasure via stimulating my prostate...I'm not sure if I'm doing it wrong or if I am just one in a million guys who doesn't get anything out of it, but usually it just feels tender and not particularly enjoyable.) During all three sexual experiences, alcohol was involved - two of them I was very drunk, and the intercourse one I was moderately drunk ("tipsy" let's say) and very sober by the end of it. Two of them (including the anal one) were people I'd just met, and one of them was a friend who I'm not very close with and had been interested in for a long time.
I would not describe myself as a person with a high sex drive - I actually don't get horny all the time as how the media depicts most guys. However, I don't think it's a clinical problem as I still do get horny sometimes, and I usually jerk off at least once a day - sometimes I'll go a few days without doing it, and sometimes I will do it 2 or 3 times. If I'm not too horny at the get go, it takes a LONG time for me to finish, even if I get horny in the process, but if I start out horny, it takes me less than five minutes to finish and everything seems completely normal.
However, during all 3 of my sexual experiences, I have not been able to finish - and not even come close. 2 of the 3, the other guy came (including the intercourse one), and all 3 were very long nights of kissing, dry humping, fondling, hand jobs, oral sex, etc. I was attracted to all 3 guys and very very turned on at the beginning of all 3 events, but as time went on, it was almost as if I lost interest during the experience. Meanwhile, oral sex seems to give me very little pleasure whatsoever, and as I mentioned before, I feel like I get nothing out of anyone, myself or another guy, massaging my prostate. It's sort of the same with handjobs - 2 of these situations I even jerked myself off during part of it and wasn't able to come even close, which makes the whole "getting used to your own grip" theory not applicable.
This probably sounds overly dramatic, but there's a part of me that wonders if I'm just not a sexual person? Maybe I'm not someone who will be able to get off with someone else? The thought is terrifying because I definitely easily develop romantic feelings and I also do get horny, so the thought of not being able to enjoy sex is crazy.
I also wonder if all of this is just because of my lack of experience, and if I continue to fool around with guys, or maybe one I know better, and keep at it for longer than one night, I could eventually get myself to come....or even enjoy it for more than fifteen minutes without getting bored.
Did anyone else feel similarly with their first few sexual experiences? I don't just mean not coming or dealing with someone who wasn't very good, but I mean slowly losing horniness over the course of the experience until by the end all you care about is getting them to finish so you don't feel like it was a complete waste of time.
Thanks for reading! :-)
