I recently started dating a great guy named Ryan. We've only been on a few dates but he's incredibly sweet and smart and cute and I'm excited to see where it goes. So far it seems to be going well except for one thing. He recently got out of a relationship and he hand his ex, Kevin, are still very close. I'm actually totally on board with that. I think it's awesome that they can maintain a friendship after being together for so long. We have similar friend circles and I've actually known both of them for a while on and off and i think Kevin is a great guy. What's why, when Ryan and I started dating, I made an effort to reach out.
On Thursday Kevin and I arranged to grab drinks with some mutual friends. I asked Ryan and he said it was fine but that maybe it would be better if he wasnt' there, at least initially. I agreed to I met up with Kevin and friends after work. We had a really nice time and when his friends needed to leave we decided to go on to a different bar for one more round. We ended up doing shots and generally having a lot of fun. We talked about my relationship with Ryan and how I wanted him to feel comfortable and that we should be friends. It was a really good night and then, stupidly, we kissed.
He started it but I didn't stop it very quickly. Then we stopped, then we rationalized like total monsters, that we needed to just get it out of our systems. We both care about Ryan, we have this attraction and we just need to deal with it. We got a cab back to his place but we couldn't go through with it. We made out and then we argued and then we cried and then we made out again. He told me that he liked me and that he had almost asked me out before but he didn't. We agreed that it could never happen because we both care about Ryan.
So now I'm starting a relationship with this great guy and me and Kevin, his best friend in the world, have this terrible secret. I want to tell him but I know i'd lose him AND it would ruin his friendship with Kevin which i don't want. I think we both regret what happened but I'm not sure if we can put it behind us or if we should.
I know we're taught that telling the truth is always the best answer but in this case I think it would just cause too much hurt. What should I do here guys? We went to a Hallween party at Kevin's tonight and it was the most stressful thing ever. To make matters even worse we were the last ones there helping to clean up and then we left and Kevin was there all by himself and he looks so sad and heartbroken. What a mess.
On Thursday Kevin and I arranged to grab drinks with some mutual friends. I asked Ryan and he said it was fine but that maybe it would be better if he wasnt' there, at least initially. I agreed to I met up with Kevin and friends after work. We had a really nice time and when his friends needed to leave we decided to go on to a different bar for one more round. We ended up doing shots and generally having a lot of fun. We talked about my relationship with Ryan and how I wanted him to feel comfortable and that we should be friends. It was a really good night and then, stupidly, we kissed.
He started it but I didn't stop it very quickly. Then we stopped, then we rationalized like total monsters, that we needed to just get it out of our systems. We both care about Ryan, we have this attraction and we just need to deal with it. We got a cab back to his place but we couldn't go through with it. We made out and then we argued and then we cried and then we made out again. He told me that he liked me and that he had almost asked me out before but he didn't. We agreed that it could never happen because we both care about Ryan.
So now I'm starting a relationship with this great guy and me and Kevin, his best friend in the world, have this terrible secret. I want to tell him but I know i'd lose him AND it would ruin his friendship with Kevin which i don't want. I think we both regret what happened but I'm not sure if we can put it behind us or if we should.
I know we're taught that telling the truth is always the best answer but in this case I think it would just cause too much hurt. What should I do here guys? We went to a Hallween party at Kevin's tonight and it was the most stressful thing ever. To make matters even worse we were the last ones there helping to clean up and then we left and Kevin was there all by himself and he looks so sad and heartbroken. What a mess.