Hi everyone,
Might be a long post, but I first found jub 10 years ago...at 16 as a closet gay (under a diff username I think). Ten years later (now 26), I'm still closeted, but have come to terms with with my sexuality and slowly taking steps to come out.
First step to entering the gay world was downloading Grindr, which I did 3 weeks ago. For the first two weeks, I had a picture of my back. Now, I'm in the fuck it mode, so I have a picture of my full mug on display (felt a huge sense of accomplishment doing this).
A little about me for context, before I share my tales navigating this world... I'm Chinese Cambodian, 26, Canadian, 5'10, lean, and I'd consider myself to be pretty good looking
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1. I've met two, maybe three, genuine friends on the app (all around my age) who I'm meeting in in the "real world." Only one of em wants to hook up with me...I think. I feel like this is a huge success.
2. I have a huge crush on one of the guys (i put a post in the relationship advice forum). He's just so...ugh
3. I've only hooked up twice (all the way) with two different guys. Both so opposite. One gentle...the other just...went to town on me (always safe).
4. I felt like the latter guy's dick (from #3) was a knife trying to stab my ass when he first tried to put in. It hurt so much, I wanted to punch him. After a few min, it felt both really good and weird (felt like I was going to poop the entire time, though I stayed clean all the way through. Normal?)
5. Have only been chatted by two crazies. One wished death on me, and the other kept telling me he's going to come over, cause I'm the one he wants...I don't lead people on, so that a bit terrifying.
6. MASC! MASC! MASC! More than anything, that's all I see on grindr. I'm MASC, so you better be as well. Though I hooked up with one (the latter guy from #3), it's hilarious and just 0.0''
7. I don't understand the ideology of bigger is better. Honestly, 6-7 max is fine. I don't know how people take more. I felt it pretty well with the two guys I hooked up with, and they were between the two. I'd be terrified of bigger. I'd have to really be in love with someone to take more.
8. Apparently, I'm a quick learner and give awesome bjs. It's hilarious because in my head, I sorta think bjs are overrated =/. I rather kiss and have our bodies rub against each other. That's a lot more erotic, enjoyable to me.
9. Despite all I've said, I'm not just going to town with anyone, haha. Most of the time, I just end up chatting people because I'm looking to build some genuine friends first. I missed out on that aspect, being in the closet and all...but for the minor times I get in a mood, yeah...
10. I haven't experienced any [overt] racism just yet...so knock on wood. Let's hope that continues.
11. Though the rep Grindr has isn't great, it's been a super weird source of cathartic(ism). It's helping me slowly come out. A great guy would help speed up the process :)
So that's all from me for now. Questions? Feel free to ask. Hope you all enjoyed the read :)
Might be a long post, but I first found jub 10 years ago...at 16 as a closet gay (under a diff username I think). Ten years later (now 26), I'm still closeted, but have come to terms with with my sexuality and slowly taking steps to come out.
First step to entering the gay world was downloading Grindr, which I did 3 weeks ago. For the first two weeks, I had a picture of my back. Now, I'm in the fuck it mode, so I have a picture of my full mug on display (felt a huge sense of accomplishment doing this).
A little about me for context, before I share my tales navigating this world... I'm Chinese Cambodian, 26, Canadian, 5'10, lean, and I'd consider myself to be pretty good looking
------
1. I've met two, maybe three, genuine friends on the app (all around my age) who I'm meeting in in the "real world." Only one of em wants to hook up with me...I think. I feel like this is a huge success.
2. I have a huge crush on one of the guys (i put a post in the relationship advice forum). He's just so...ugh
3. I've only hooked up twice (all the way) with two different guys. Both so opposite. One gentle...the other just...went to town on me (always safe).
4. I felt like the latter guy's dick (from #3) was a knife trying to stab my ass when he first tried to put in. It hurt so much, I wanted to punch him. After a few min, it felt both really good and weird (felt like I was going to poop the entire time, though I stayed clean all the way through. Normal?)
5. Have only been chatted by two crazies. One wished death on me, and the other kept telling me he's going to come over, cause I'm the one he wants...I don't lead people on, so that a bit terrifying.
6. MASC! MASC! MASC! More than anything, that's all I see on grindr. I'm MASC, so you better be as well. Though I hooked up with one (the latter guy from #3), it's hilarious and just 0.0''
7. I don't understand the ideology of bigger is better. Honestly, 6-7 max is fine. I don't know how people take more. I felt it pretty well with the two guys I hooked up with, and they were between the two. I'd be terrified of bigger. I'd have to really be in love with someone to take more.
8. Apparently, I'm a quick learner and give awesome bjs. It's hilarious because in my head, I sorta think bjs are overrated =/. I rather kiss and have our bodies rub against each other. That's a lot more erotic, enjoyable to me.
9. Despite all I've said, I'm not just going to town with anyone, haha. Most of the time, I just end up chatting people because I'm looking to build some genuine friends first. I missed out on that aspect, being in the closet and all...but for the minor times I get in a mood, yeah...
10. I haven't experienced any [overt] racism just yet...so knock on wood. Let's hope that continues.
11. Though the rep Grindr has isn't great, it's been a super weird source of cathartic(ism). It's helping me slowly come out. A great guy would help speed up the process :)
So that's all from me for now. Questions? Feel free to ask. Hope you all enjoyed the read :)